Saturday, January 30, 2010

When I Was Young Part 2: The Future & I

First: check it out! My top 10 favourite albums are on autostraddle!


When I was younger I didn't dream of getting married and living in domestic bliss. I wanted to live alone near the beach in a small town with one gas station and a bead shop owned by a gypsy. I wanted to wear black and red flannel and hiking boots and I wanted it to be autumn all the time. I didn't want a phone 'cause I didn't want to talk to people.

Then came the point where I realized that living in a small town meant that people might know who I was and they might want to talk to me, ask me questions. I realized what I wanted, above all else, was anonymity. I began to picture myself in a big city like Manhattan, walking the streets never seeing the same person twice. I imagined the kind of freedom I might have, living by myself in a small apartment close to a main street. I could walk down the stairs in my building and instantly disappear into a crowd of people.

The two projected visions of my future seem so different -- one is in the country, the other, in the city. The thing is, though my vision has changed, I've always wanted the same thing. Is there a name for it (privacy? independence? freedom? to be left alone?)? It sounds lonely, but that's what the future looked like to me.

I never wanted money. Maybe that's because I've always had money -- never piles and piles of money, but enough to get by. Enough to buy a coffee twice a week, enough to buy excess clothes. Enough to play sports and travel. For whatever reason, when I thought of myself in my 20s, I always saw myself as poor. It's strange because I like money. I like to save my money and then make impulse buys on things I don't need. And I like things. I like my macbook and my iPhone and my overpriced moleskin and buying new books.

I always thought I would be a writer. I wanted to write a book as good as Harry Potter and I wanted to be a poet. I didn't understand poetry. I wanted to stay up late and drink coffee and typetypetype a novel on a desk covered in crumpled up paper.

Other people never figured into my plans. One thing I always knew about my future was that it didn't matter what other people thought about it. I was sure, and still am, that it's my future -- not my parents', not my friends', not my teachers'. As harsh as it may seem, they were never necessary to my success. Success is happiness. I'm probably wrong about my parents and friends.

I guess of all the choices I might make or could have made, what I want is kind of strange. I was always a little less mainstream than that, though. I was always good at writing, at least I was better than other people in my classes. I liked to read when reading was unpopular. I liked to write in my spare time. When I was sad I wrote poetry and at first it always rhymed and then it was just a mish mash of words, clich├ęs, and tears. At one point I realized that hardly anybody reads poetry and hardly anybody understands poetry and you can write this assignment in any way you want except not in a poem.

Part of growing up in North America is that we're told from the beginning that we can be anything we want. I can be a writer if I want to and you can be a firefighter or a pilot or a chef. I keep hearing that we're the next leaders of our country, but the truth is we're not. Only one person gets to be Prime Minister/President. Someone has to clean the Prime Minister's toilet and sweep the streets and serve you at McDonald's. They never tell you you might be a janitor. Do people dream of being janitors? Do people dream of being STM workers? Do people wake up every day and think "Boy am I happy I pick up people's garbage every Monday! This is what I've always wanted to do!"?

The thing is, you're probably not going to be Prime Minister or a famous actress. You might not even get a job.

Sarah: he’s right, the undergrad degree is the new HS diploma
also hard to get a job with
Laneia: um did a h.s. diploma EVER guarantee a good job???
Sarah: no, it guaranteed a job if you were willing to join the military
Laneia: right
Sarah: i think the high school diploma lost it’s appeal in the 40s

Maybe the point here is that having shitty dreams means your dreams are likely to come true. I mean, I'm probably not going to live in NYC, but it'll be a big city, and I'll probably be a poor starving writer, writing poetry nobody reads.

But I think the real point is that, for me anyway, I've always been this way. I've always known what I want and I've always sought to achieve it. Subconsciously I've paved my way towards the future I always imagined myself in. I've shed the negative people from my life, gotten rid of the things that make me feel like shit. I think all I've ever wanted was the chance to be myself. I want to stop being lied to. I want to be around people I like, and who like me. I want to be around nobody at all. I want to be happy. I want to step out of my heart and go walking beneath the enormous sky.

And I will.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Open Letter to the STM and Transit Users

You never fail to frustrate me at least once a day.

To the STM;

I don't know why I should expect reasonable customer service, ever. I can't count the number of times I was yelled at for using student tickets back when tickets still existed, and now I'm forced to pay for a monthly pass if I want the discount. Obvs it was cheaper when I could get 10 reduced fare tickets on my Opus before.

The worst though, are the buses. The buses never run on time. The first bus doesn't come, and the next one comes late. The bus drivers are mean. No, really. A bus driver once gave me false information about the bus that I was on. Maybe it was an accident, but really, shouldn't he know anyway? Once I was accused of fraud by a metro lady.

Also, regular transit fare is expensive. The Opus doesn't work with the trains. The train doesn't even run near me. What's the point of telling me my Opus card expires October 2010 if you're going to make me renew it in 2009? Why do I have to pay $13 to have my Opus renewed?

Thanks for expanding the metro in every direction except west.

I hate you with every fibre of my being.

To transit users;

It's not that I hate you all, but sometimes you just suck the fun out of my day.

Just so we're clear, we're all using public transportation for the same reason: to get somewhere. So, you know, I'm probably just as late for school as you are for work. At the end of the day, I want to get home just as badly as you do. Why do you have to make it so hard?

My number one pet peeve, and this seems to happen every day of my life, is when people stand on the left side of the escalator. This is common knowledge everywhere that on a highway, the left lane is for faster drivers. The further right you are, the slower you go. I know that and I don't even drive. The same applies for the escalator. If you stand on the left side and everyone else stands on the right, you are blocking the entire escalator. Everyone behind you who wants to catch a bus hates your guts and wants you to explode into a pile of dust (or maybe just me). How is it even hard to figure out when the whole left side is open? Here are some things to think about before using the escalator: if you can't make it up the whole way, DON'T DO IT. GET ON THE RIGHT SIDE. DON'T WALK HALFWAY UP, REALIZE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK, AND STOP. At the top of the escalator, a lot of people stop walking for some reason. If there are a lot of people behind you, this ends up creating a standing line. Keep walking until you're off the escalator. It's not that scary, I promise.

The other thing that bothers me is the lines for buses. Taking the 470 at anytime from 4-6:30 sucks. Everyone knows that. The line wraps around the sidewalk and overlaps other bus stop lines. In really shitty weather everyone is miserable and cold and wants to go home obviously. But why are you making a second line? I get it that you think you're not going to make the first bus, so you stand "first" in line to be "first" on the next bus that comes, except what you're really doing is butting in front of everyone else who is already in line. Like, I'm in the real line and I miss the first bus, and then you come along and get in this fake second line and the next bus comes and YOU JUST INTEGRATE YOURSELF INTO THE REAL LINE I HATE YOU OMG YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE




Do you know why this irritates me so? Because how do you tell these people what they are doing is cheating and annoying? Like in elementary school is that what they taught you? That it's okay to butt in line? Next time I see you at course change I'm just going to start a new line and go in front of you. FORGET EVER STANDING IN A LINE, I'M JUST GOING TO MAKE MY OWN LINE AND GO WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT

Lastly, I don't want to hear your music on the way home. So if you have headphones you should use them. If you have headphones and are using them and I can hear your music over my music then I hate you, I just hate you

I want to rip your headphones from your ears and punch you in the face and make your eyes bleed

Sometimes when I get mad I feel violent. I'm glad I have this blog to rant to or else I might bottle up all my feelings inside and just cry myself to sleep instead. Sidenote I feel like I am blogging autowin style

That is, not using periods

leaving those sentences hanging in mid-air

Monday, January 25, 2010

I Know That Sometimes You Must Feel Like You've Been Had

went to see The Wooden Sky saturday night. check them out. they're canadian.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

as if i am addressing a large crowd of people. show your teeth.

i didn't prepare a speech for this
because i didn't think i would win
because i look funny
and my shoes are too big for my feet.


i hate those 'before' and 'after' pictures.
it's probably not even the same person.
people don't look like that.
people have real waists
and hands
and stomachs.


this morning i woke up and my hair looked funny in the mirror.
oh god, i love it when you laugh.


i want suspenders and pants with pockets
and red, red, red, lips.
i want longer legs
and blue, blue, blue skies.


invisible; modest mouse // does this mean you're moving on; the airborne toxic event // girls in their summer dresses; the airborne toxic event // all we want, baby, is everything; the handsome furs // piazza, new york catcher; belle & sebastian // blindsided; bon iver // first day of my life; bright eyes // camp out; an horse // little lungs; an horse // lion's mane; iron & wine // clean getaway; maria taylor // north; phoenix // aside; the weakerthans // pictures of success; rilo kiley // so come back, i am waiting; okkervil river // re:stacks; bon iver

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

When I Was Young Part 1: How The Spice Girls and Tegan & Sara Shaped My Life

Everybody has had one. Everybody has had an idol, a hero of some sort, someone they obsessed over and knew everything about. There's always some celebrity or artist or writer that inspired you when you were a kid, shaped your childhood. Before high school, it was The Spice Girls. Now, it's Tegan and Sara.


My aunt first introduced me to The Spice Girls in 1997 or so. My aunt tries to be hip and on top of those things kids like -- she was the one who bought be Harry Potter in 1999. She also claimed last year to discover this really great new band which she then revealed to be The Arcade Fire who've existed for a long time already. So there's that.

But The Spice Girls were probably the first thing I ever truly loved. I had all their CDs, the movie, the books, the t-shirts. I knew all the words even though I didn't know what "ziga-zig-ah" or "two become one" meant. 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys were super popular at that time too, but I could never get on board. I think I cried when Geri left the group. I even have The Spice Girls last album as a group of four (quatro? what?) called "Forever" except I think it's a shortened version or something.

When I listen to The Spice Girls now I get all nostalgic and want to cry. First of all, their songs are still awesome. Secondly, they have a really good message for girls: GIRL POWER. This is essential in helping Carly realize her lesbian tendencies. Thirdly, the movie was awesome when I was 8 or 9 and it's still awesome 10 years later.


I can't remember the year I first heard Tegan and Sara. It must've been 2005. I had read somewhere "I hope I never figure out who broke your heart, and if I do...." and liked it. So I googled it and discovered "Living Room" and then "You Wouldn't Like Me" and "I Know I Know I Know" and "My Number". Then I recall specifically the winter of 2006 when myspace was popular being on somebody's myspace page and hearing "Walking With a Ghost". That's when it really started. I listened to "Underwater" and "Where Does the Good Go" and a bunch of songs from If It Was You. Then The Con came out and I joined and went to their concert in October 2007 and had (have) a folder full of pictures of them. I learned to tell them apart, watched all the videos and had all their CDs, wished I could meet them, wished I could marry Sara against the stones of buildings built before we were born.

Tegan and Sara did a lot for me that I can't explain. I mean, they showed me a side of myself I didn't know existed. They wrote songs about feelings I couldn't explain myself.

How do you explain a song? "Back In Your Head" was one of those songs that said everything I felt about myself so honestly that I never wanted to say anything except recite the lyrics. My belief is that the album version is not the way "Back In Your Head" is meant to be heard, but the demo version captures the true essence.

"City Girl" makes me cry.

One of the most surreal experiences I've ever had was driving with Katrina in Nyack listening to Tegan and Sara. We could talk about little things, like the way Sara's backup vocals sound on the Spinner version of "Nineteen" and big things, like The Con as a whole album.

If all I ever had left to say were Tegan and Sara lyrics, I would be okay. It would be everything I've ever wanted to say to people.


I'm happy I subconsciously picked women heroes.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Top 10 Albums I Can't Live Without

I'm doing the music monday today because tomorrow night I'll be at the Tegan and Sara concert. Fo' realz.

10. The Shins - Wincing the Night Away

I picked this even though I can live without the entire album but I can't live without The Shins. I would like to make a 'Best of The Shins' CD and it would include songs from all 3 of their albums. For the record, my favourite Shins song is "Pink Bullets" which is on their album Chutes Too Narrow. Anyways, it took me a while to really like Wincing the Night Away but after 3 years I finally enjoy every song.

Favourite: Australia

9. Iron & Wine - Around the Well

Around the Well is one of those compilation CDs with two discs of previously unreleased stuff. Around the Well features some of my favourite Iron & Wine songs such as "Kingdom of the Animals", "God Made the Automobile", "Carried Home", "The Trapeze Swinger", and Sam Beam's cover of "Such Great Heights", which btw, is my favourite The Postal Service song. So there.

Favourite: Kingdom of the Animals

8. The New Pornographers - Challengers

Challengers is my favourite NP's album because it's the only full album I've heard from them. Rumour has it they're releasing a new album in '10, which is really exciting because I will purchase it and maybe it'll be better than Challengers but that'll be hard because Challengers is a really good album. There isn't a weak song on the entire CD.

Favourite: Adventures in Solitude

7. Tegan and Sara - The Con

Arguably Tegan and Sara's best album, The Con fills me with so many emotions that I'm surprised I don't cry every time I hear it. It comes with a DVD and if you were lucky enough to have friends who would spend $10 on you, then you could have gotten the demo CD as well on their US tour in 2008 (thanks Katrina!). Almost everybody uses Tegan and Sara lyrics as titles for their blog posts because they're so good. Also because they're very relate-able.

Favourite: Back in Your Head

6. Bright Eyes - Noise Floor: Rarities 1998-2005

I can't remember why I decided to buy Noise Floor but it was definitely one of the best decisions ever. The album art is really good, but also the tracks are solid and I'm having a hard time picking a favourite song. My only qualm with Noise Floor is the length, but Bright Eyes always has super long albums anyways.

Depending on my mood, my favourites are: Blue Angels Air Show, Weather Reports, Seashell Tale, or Amy in the White Coat

5. Sarah Mclachlan - Mirrorball

Ever since I discovered Mirrorball way at the back of a shelf in a giant cupboard in the basement, I have not been able to live without it. Seriously guys, Mirrorball is pure gold. If you think Sarah Mclachlan is good on studio albums, wait till you hear her live. Sometimes I have no idea what her songs are about but they make me cry anyway.

Favourite: Sweet Surrender, Angel

4. Tegan and Sara - If It Was You

It's unlikely that many other people would pick If It Was You as one of their favourite T&S albums because So Jealous and The Con are so good, but if I had to pick just
one it would be If It Was You. Firstly, it features one of their best songs "City Girl", and secondly, it includes other fan favourites like "Living Room", "Monday Monday Monday" and "I Hear Noises". Also if you haven't heard "Want to be Bad" performed live in Melbourne, which I tried semi-hard to find on youtube, then you should look it up yourself and listen to it. On top of that, "Underwater" seriously underrated as it is a real Sara gem, as is "Terrible Storm". I bet you haven't listened hard enough to Matt Sharpe's bass at the end of the latter. You know what, you should just go listen to this whole album right now.

Favourite: City Girl

3. Okkervil River - The Stand Ins

I first purchased The Stand Ins in December '08 in California and my life has never been the same since. A couple of weeks later I started this blog and called it "the shoreline receding" which is a line from "Lost Coastlines" which is possibly the best track on the album.
Okkervil River's lyrics and melodies never cease to amaze me, which is why I bought another one of their albums, Black Sheep Boy and just because it's not on this list doesn't mean it's not phenomenal.

Favourite: Lost Coastlines
Runner Ups: Calling and Not Calling my Ex; Bruce Wayne Campbell Interviewed on the Roof of the Chelsea Hotel, 1979

2. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

I can't live without this album because I fall asleep to it every night. Yes, every night. I can't explain to you the pleasures of Justin Vernon's out of tune guitar and high pitched voice. Bon Iver is just pure magic, pure fucking magic.

Favourite: re:stacks

1. Death Cab for Cutie - We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes

We Have the Facts is DCFC's best album, hands down (well, maybe there's room for Transatlanticism). I can't even really explain what makes this album so good -- I think it's the simplicity of it, the crappyish recording, the fact that it sounds like 3 people with 3 instruments and not 28. Plans was good, Narrow Stairs was good, but they will never measure up to We Have the Facts. I wouldn't give this album away for 10 million dollars. Just read the lyrics to "No Joy in Mudville".

Favourite: Company Calls Epilogue

Thursday, January 14, 2010

If Clouds Were Stones We Would Toss Them Through Windows in the Sky

I hadn't really thought about her in a while. If I did it was only in a passing, unintentional. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was just that there was nothing new to think about and the old thoughts were so worn thin that they disappeared. I felt good about that. It had run its course and it was over and done and I was fine. I was here or there and she was somewhere and that was fine.

But for one second, one night, I thought about calling. I said it out loud. "No," my friend said, "no way." So I didn't, and it was fine. I forgot about that moment, recalling it only late in the afternoon the next day. There were other things to think about. There was water boiling and pages to look at.

I met some friends the next day. I thought about the way they interacted, felt like a spectator in some twisted play and let myself be paralyzed in my chair. 'Cause they laughed with ease, see, and my head felt like a stone, so I didn't laugh lest my jacket crinkle, make noise and disturb them. I guess I wasn't part of that situation. I wondered if I had even been invited at all.

I went home and slept until 1:30. I ate a piece of toast. I went back to sleep.

When I woke up I thought about another girl, with blond hair. I imagined that I had an apartment with two bedrooms and a fireplace. Can apartments have fireplaces? I went on my laptop with the intention of emailing a friend a story detailing my feelings about being a spectator but I never got around to it. I send too many emails about things like that anyway. It felt like it had happened a long time ago and was therefore irrelevant.

The next week my friend came back from vacation and threw a house party. There were a lot of people there. I drank beer and walked around with a cement head. A group of people wanted to smoke up in the back but my friend said no. They did it anyway and she didn't find out. I watched them from the kitchen. I talked a lot of nonsense to everyone that night. I found myself sitting on the couch with a friend of a friend who talked about this really great movie he saw the other day. I told him somebody should make a movie of the book The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway because they wouldn't have to write a script because everything is right there. He told me he'd never read that book and my hands turned to marble. I should find somebody who's read that book, I thought.

She was at that party. I told her about my idea for The Sun Also Rises as a movie. She smiled and agreed and said she'd never read that book. I tried to float through the crowd but my legs were tied to the wooden floors.

When I got home instead of sleeping I wrote made up stories. I realized how easy it was and wrote a lot of words about imaginary events. I wondered what kind of person that made me. I remembered this guy I had met in a bar once. I had told him I was studying English Lit. He told me he was in Commerce. He said that meant that he was logical and that my head was in the clouds. My head wasn't in the clouds, it was a tree in the ground. I decided I would publish my words in a collection of stories and poems called If Clouds Were Stones: A Collection of Short Stories and Poems, but when I woke up the next morning I had forgotten all about it.

I went to the mall and sat still like a copper statue. People made wishes and threw pennies into the fountain. She made a wish, tossed my copper thoughts to the bottom of the pool.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Know the Things we Need to Say, We've Said Already Anyway

[the weakerthans - sun in an empty room]

I can't get this song out of my head.

take eight minutes and divide
by 90 million lonely miles
watch the shadow cross the floor
but we don't live here anymore.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

I Forgot My Own Anniversary, Whatever, New York Is Timeless

So for a long time I thought my blogiversary was January 11 but then I actually checked and it was yesterday. I don't want to link to the first 3 months of this blog ever again. I feel like people are going to start going through my archives anyways and that's embarrassing. I know it's really tempting to see what I was doing last January. NOTHING, I WAS DOING NOTHING, STOP LOOKING.

Actually, around this time last year, what I was doing was reading a lot of autowin and it made me want to start my own blog. It's so weird because one year ago we didn't know each other, I just knew her through her writing, and now I'm in her apartment. The internet is magic, I suppose. Also I have a cold and I hate myself for that.

For my six month "blogiversary" I picked my top six favorite posts but I don't feel like doing that now. I have links on the right side of this blog of my favorite posts, so maybe you should just read those. Instead I thought I would make Riese write something because she inspired me to write and also because she's here so that's easy. Also because I can't think of anything to say. Also x2 I know I've been sucking with the writing lately. Sorz. That will change soon.

Emily Choo wants me to write about EMILY CHOO and when I first started writing my blog, the road less traveled, and learning all the time. When I first started writing my blog I was stupid. I'm still stupid, so that's something that hasn't changed since then. The first blog entry I wrote was a top ten list of everything I imagined I might talk about on my blog. I had a livejournal already. I got a blog because a lot of writers had blogs and the girl I was living with had a blog and I thought mine could be better than her's. So I started it for the worst reason anyone could do anything.

My second post was about ElleGirl shutting down and why I loved it. Two ex-editors of ElleGirl emailed me that week to say how much they appreciated my post and felt I really understood their magazine and so I thought OMG THE INTERNET IS MAGIC. I don't know, then things took off w/r/t NYC & Gawker ... I dunno. I feel like I talk about this stuff too much. Honestly I was just drinking & fucking and doing illegal shit for money most days of the week. Nothing to be proud of. Well; honesty.

Emily Choo thinks she wants me to write things about her but it would actually be better if I didn't. That's the real secret. It's better later [emily choo edit: i don't know what she's talking about here, she didn't even finish her sentence] [emily choo edit x2: apparently she did that on purpose]

The point of life is to learn something every day otherwise what's the point. No really what's the point. If anything besides that is the point, I wish I could be like you, it must be so easy.

Oh yeah and 'the road less traveled' is where all the cool kids hang out. We eat jelly beans and say clever things and hold hands just as friends. We eat feelings, we don't bleed, we don't need. The road less traveled is the name of a self-help book my Mom owned, I don't know if she ever read it or where she went.

The point is to do something new

That's what Emily Choo is gonna do

Thank you, Riese. You are not stupid. Also ps I can't get the colours right. They all look ugly.

Anyways, now that I kind of know more about what I want to write here/have some sort of posting schedule, 2010 is obvs going to be a good year for blogging. My goal is to get 1 million hits a day. Jk. Whatever. I started with 1.5 regular readers and now I have like 20 and then some randoms. I think my friends should read this more.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Pretty Books About Nothing

"No man is an island; entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away to sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
- John Donne, Meditation XVII

Instead of making us all read the same book, my grade 11 teacher let us pick our own books for our assignment. I had already been reading For Whom the Bell Tolls so I figured I might as well continue. I had picked it up off his bookshelf because of the title; it was part of a quote my mom had written down once. I'd heard of Ernest Hemingway before but never knew much about him, so I didn't know what to expect. It didn't (read: doesn't) help that I know nothing about the Spanish civil war and so most of the historical aspects were lost on me.

For Whom The Bell Tolls was unlike any book I had ever read before. I wasn't sure if there was a point to the story. The dialogue that was realistic but most authors would have edited it out. It was like Hemingway wasn't creating a story, it was like he was there writing everything that happened. That style was new to me.

I wasn't sure I liked the book. It seemed to go against everything I had learned about editing. The night before my assignment was due I stayed up late and wrote my first stream of consciousness. It was about death, inspired by the title of a piece of art called "The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living". My teacher gave me 100%. It was a piece of crap.

I thought it was over, after that. I hadn't disliked the book, but I hadn't loved it either. I wasn't rushing to start reading Hemingway's other stuff. But it stuck with me somehow. I thought about it for 3 years, sporadically. Every once in a while I would think about the John Donne quote, the one featured in For Whom the Bell Tolls. Then, this school year, in my literature and culture class we read 100 Years of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez). Not that the books are similar in any way, but there's a character in 100 Years named Pilar, which happens to be the name of one of the main characters in For Whom the Bell Tolls. It was just a minor coincidence, but it made me want to give Hemingway another chance. So, for my birthday, I asked for an Ernest Hemingway book. They got me two: The Sun Also Rises, and A Farewell to Arms.

The Sun Also Rises
About 1/3 of the way through this book I began to worry that it was about something and I was missing the point. It probably is about something and I am missing the point. There are a lot of things that happen and I don't think they mean anything but it's nice to read about Paris and Spain. At one point the narrator, Jake, blatantly states "that had nothing to do with the story". It's funny because it seems like nothing has anything to do with the story.

I like The Sun Also Rises because it's a very pretty story. First of all, it seems like nobody ever works. Instead they drink and have sex and go on vacation to Spain where there's a giant fiesta happening. Secondly, Lady Brett Ashley and Jake Barnes are two really awesome characters. I believe that's all you need to make a good story. I want someone to make this book into a movie because it would just be perfect. Imdb says someone did make a movie in 1957 and it looks terrible, I think someone should remake it starring Charlize Theron and Matt Damon.

"Oh, Jake," Brett said, "we could have had such a damned good time together."
"Yes," I said. "Isn't it pretty to think so?"

Anyways, I haven't read A Farewell to Arms yet. Probs gonna read it on the train to New York. I did read another book though, it was also about nothing. But it was more about nothing than The Sun Also Rises.

Shoplifting From American Apparel by Tao Lin
Like The Sun Also Rises, I wasn't sure if this book was about nothing. So I asked Riese because she's smart.

Me: You read 'Shoplifting From American Apparel" right? It's not about anything is it?
Riese: No, it's not about anything at all.
It made me want to write a book because I write things that have no point too. There isn't even a moral to Shoplifting From American Apparel. Maybe the moral is if you do two days of community service they'll erase your record after 6 months so you should always do two days of community service.

Here is an excerpt from Shoplifting From American Apparel:

A few days later Sam met Kaitlyn in Williamsburg to go to the annual work party for the organic vegan restaurant where he worked. Kaitlyn had a "Synergy" brand kombucha in her jacket pocket. She said she dropped it earlier and it made a very loud noise and people looked at her. "Drop it now," said Sam. "No," said Kaitlyn. Sam tried to take the kombucha and it went further into Kaitlyn's jacket pocket. "I can't get it, why is it sliding away," said Sam. "Stop trying to grab my kombucha," said Kaitlyn laughing. A few minutes later Sam gained control of Kaitlyn's kombucha and dropped it and it made a very loud noise.
Brb, have to go write a book.

P.S. Read both these novels.

Monday, January 4, 2010

We Are Vagabonds, We Travel Without Seat Belts On

One of The Decemberists best songs, in my opinion.

But the angles and the corners, even though my work is unparalleled, they never seemed to meet -- the structure fell about our feet and we were free to go.