Wanted: Robot Girlfriend
Position starting immediately - mid/late-December
Tasks:
+ eat dinner with me
+ go grocery shopping with me
+ do laundry with me
+ be available for hours of cuddling and spooning (therefore it would help if you are a critter)
+ come over when i call you on the telephone
+ appreciate random text messages
+ make me breakfast in the morning
+ go to bars with me at the last minute
+ bake with me
Bonus if you:
+ have a car
+ have money
+ like sweatpants
DO NOT APPLY IF YOU:
+ have feelings
+ like to wake up early
+ have a life
[also this:
Wanted single F,
under 33
must enjoy the sun
must enjoy the sea
sought by single M F
nothing too heavy
send photo to address
is it you and me?]
Also also I live here:
JUST SAYING. Maybe you want to come over or something.
11 comments:
If you find one of these robots, let me know. Sounds like a blasty blast.
lol nice. I agree if you find someone who can be that rad lol ask em if they have a nice friend. lol
it's hard to find people who actually are legit and real.
That Stars reference makes you the best lady on the internet.
amanda: still searching
diana: i want a chauffeur, not someone legit and real
anonymous: i like you, anon
I am wondering if this was serious. Because you seem fucking adorable. :)
YOU'RE HIRED
do you live in montreal
come over now, i want to watch mean girls
Where do I apply? I am too bashful to hit on you properly.
email me, we can be friends
emily choo 19 [at] gmail [dot] com
Really? That's all it takes?! But that's so easy! Maybe I don't need to be single after all. I mean, I don't have a car or money, cos who does, but they're in the Bonus list, not the Must list...so let's see:
+ I eat
+ I shop so I can eat more
+ I wash
+ I lie down
+ I respond well to direction
+ I am easily pleased by others' words
+ I make myself excellent scrambled eggs/fried egg and tomato/porridge - all easily doubled
+ I never say no to a drink
+ The smell of warm carbs makes me gooey
On the Do Not Apply side:
+ Feelings are well hidden until I'm comfortable which takes like, forever, so they may as well not exist
+ no problem there
+ no problem there either
So, wow, a Wanted ad I can fill...And I warrant bonus points for living on the Plateau and loving Stars, no?
see above comment.
This makes me sad.
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