and it's fun, thinking of you like a movie star

[belle & sebastian - come on sister]

heard this at american eagle.

and it's dumb, thinking of you like the way that you were.

why is everything so weird

i wrote this thing in october 2010 about the landmarks that were approaching in my life. it was called 'why is everything so weird'. instead i posted this. reading this right now makes me feel weird.

Late November, early December

Around this time I started working at American Eagle, which was supposed to be a Christmas job, and yet I'm still here even though I live far away from where I work. I also don't know how I feel about this. In the past 2 months American Eagle has been the only thing keeping me sane because it's the only thing in my life that's remained familiar. I genuinely like everyone I work with and I'm writing it here even though I don't think any of them read this, which is totally fine. I don't know if I'm good at my job.

If I didn't work at American Eagle I probably would never have talked to any of the people I work with, and I don't think they would have talked to me. And that's okay, because we're different, kind of, and I would never have applied if I hadn't already been friends with someone who worked there. I'm glad I get to work with people I wouldn't have otherwise met.

I've been thinking about my job lately, and people keep asking me why I don't get transferred since I live in the city now, and I can't really explain why except that it's become kind of comforting. I've even (sort of) come to enjoy being the janitor on Sunday mornings. I don't know. They should pay me more to clean the light fixtures, I probably have 5 pounds of dust in my lungs or something.

++

Everything is so weird. I guess this is called "growing". Why do things have to mean something? None of these dates are really important, except maybe my birthday which is important to society and possibly my grandmother. I don't know what life will be like this time next year, I don't want to know, don't tell me. I wouldn't believe you anyway.

i think i remember having a dream around this time about someone in a white cotton shirt. i think my life is the same but different.

thoughts are like pearls

[feist - cicadas and gulls]

have you heard feist's new album yet? it's amazing. i'm going to see her in december and i have continuous happy feelings about this.

this is my favourite song from the album (obvs). i'm a sucker for sad acoustic songs.

(via)

cactus

this chicken used to be frozen until i fried it in a pan. chicken for lunch. inside a tortilla wrap with lettuce.

i used to be a human but now i am just a thing the cat uses to get somewhere else.

it used to be sunny but now it is rainy.

it used to be rainy but now it is sunny.

what the fuck?

this page used to be blank until i wrote these words.

my mind is blank.

Look At This Fucking Cat

World, meet Oscar Wilde, the fourth member of Hotel Tupperware.

Family portrait!

From left to right: honorary member Rachel "ludacribz", Emily "dictator", Jeba "BOH (bitch of house)", Cate "Cate (every household needs a Cate!)", Oscar "wild" Wilde

We will never get work done again. Meow!

hello, october; hello, fall

october is a nice month, weather-wise. the trees are all pretty, i can wear a scarf and a sweater, and retail keeps tricking me into thinking it's almost christmas.

i feel like i've learned a lot about myself, even in just the past two months. my roommates and i might foster a cat, and while this has the potential to turn into total disaster, i'm pretty excited. our house is already a lovenest of insanity, and i feel like anyone who comes over leaves a little bit more crazy than they were when they arrived.

i'm learning to participate more in my own life. i feel like my plan of doing everything this semester is actually happening, and while i have a nervous breakdown about 3 times a week, i also feel really content right now. a little confused, but content because i'm working on fixing the things that are making me confused.

autumn in montreal is beautiful. the wind blows the leaves around but isn't cold (mostly) and i feel possibly like this winter will not kill me. i can't wait to buy a winter coat and some new gloves.

here's a song about how i feel: young blood - the naked and famous