I Want the Ocean Right Now

About 3 months ago I had to choose between going to the University of British Columbia or staying in Montreal and going to Concordia. If you've been reading this you know I've decided to stay in Montreal. Or maybe you just guessed.

Reasons:

1. The program I want is better here.

2. It's cheaper.

3. UBC didn't give me enough time to decide.

4. I still have a love/hate relationship with Montreal and want to learn to love it more.

All in all, one of the main reasons I wanted to go to UBC was because I wanted to move out of my house. Then I realized I could still do that in Montreal, so I chose Concordia and found an apartment for the fall. But there's something really daunting thinking about spending the next 3 winters in this city.

It's probably because I'm sitting here and it's summer and I'm not as busy as I'd like to be that I feel all the feelings I felt that made me want to leave this place in the beginning. I think it's a feeling a lot of people have and sometimes it has nothing to do with geography, just a simple desire to "get out".

I love Montreal most of the time, but goddamnit, I want to see the ocean. I want to be in Seattle or Vancouver or San Francisco and I want to be there now. I would write this off as "cabin fever" or a case of "got-nothing-to-do-this-summer" but I've always had a love affair with the west coast, so. I know it's silly because I idealize these cities but I will never stop until I go there. Which I will, one day.

I don't regret choosing Concordia. I think it's the right choice for me and I'm excited to move out of my house and start something new. But I'm still dreaming of the west coast.

from if you're going to san francisco pt ii