it is the late afternoon/early evening of friday the 12th of march and i am having a really weird moment. for one, i am using my old pc laptop. it is very strange. i keep making typos. also it is very loud and i keep pressing "alt" instead of "command" because the "command" button is somewhere else. and i keep trying to use two fingers to scroll. i can't do anything on this computer! on an unrelated note, i'm also cold. which reminds me that i made tea 30 minutes ago and it is also probably cold.
the universe has been doing some really weird things to me lately. the past 3 days i've had these creepy bordering on nightmareish dreams. one of my dreams was that a bunch of hairy wrestler men in spandex were chasing me out of a gay carnival. another one was that a plane crashed into the building next to me and set everything on fire, but that was okay because i was in a pool and therefore didn't die (?!?). i can't remember the third one but i know it was creepy because i woke up thinking what the hell is happening around here.
i've also decided that i'm going to start writing down my dreams and turning them into stories. sometimes i have dreams with cool people in them, like once i was on a ship with kate winslet and rose mcgowan (titanic??), once i had sex with brad pitt on a tropical island, and once john krasinski hugged me. imagine if those were real?
a few days ago i had a 'where is my mother' panic attack and had to mourn the loss of my childhood for the 98,000th time. i wrote a poem about it but i don't want to share it with you.
and now, just a few minutes ago, facebook decided to finally do what it's promised to do since it started.
by that i mean on the right hand side of my home page, facebook made a "friend suggestion" that i totally wasn't expecting and actually probably hoped to never see. i would not have actively searched for this person, ever. usually the "friend suggestions" i get are people from high school who have 37 mutual friends that i never speak to either.
what kills me is the person's profile picture is a picture i took four years ago. really, papi? i wonder if i'm popping up on her friend suggestions.
the first thing i did is wonder if i should friend request her. 5 seconds later i decided that would be crazy times, a decision that might be reversed if i ever get drunk enough near a computer.
the second thing i did was edit my profile. i realize that is completely unnecessary (omg i just spelled that 'unnessecary' what is wrong with me?!) and i don't know why i thought it was a precaution i had to take. maybe i'm prophesying (i also spelled that wrong mostly because i was just guessing that it was a word) being drunk near a computer? after that i checked to make sure my privacy settings are so that no one who isn't my friend can see the edits i just made to my facebook page. i know what you're thinking. jk i don't. but i know what i'm thinking, and what i'm thinking is that sometimes i'm kind of crazy and obsessive and also a huge time waster.
this probably happens to a lot of people, i'm guessing. we're all kind of the same like that. i tried to evaluate my life from this other person's eyes, this person who hasn't seen me in 4 years and then i wanted to make everything look pretty and neat in case they cared. also it's like when you know someone's looking at you, you start to act differently. you become conscious of your actions. it's strange, because she's not reading this or "looking" at me, but it feels like it. maybe because suddenly i'm looking at her? or just crazy.
anyways, what's really important besides my dumbass life crisisesess is that i'm going to philadelphia to visit laura tomorrow! then we are going to nyc to visit autostraddle headquarters. it's going to be good times.
in sadder news, the tv downstairs is broken. this sucks because it is the tv attached to the cable thing so all the good channels are downstairs. also my wii is connected to that tv. so now i will never finish call of duty! unless i bring the wii upstairs.
en tout cas, spring break, fuck yeah! watch lady gaga's 'telephone' video. so fucking good. it might even be better than bad romance, and that's saying something.