Important Things You Need to Know: I Have Gone Crazy

Autostraddle had a redesign. If you don't check it out then I don't want to be your friend anymore.

As proof that my hands are not connected to my brain, I dropped my phone down 4 flights of stairs today. Sometimes I'm surprised I get my shoes on the right feet. I can't type.

How I Met Your Mother season 5 premiered Monday night. DOES ANYBODY WATCH THIS SHOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT BARNEY AND ROBIN AND HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM!

Also today is Riese's birthday, she just turned 19, send her an email riese at autostraddle dot com. Coincidentally, Riese is the CEO of autostraddle.com WHICH JUST HAD A HUGE REDESIGN JUST SAYING.

I'm so super moody lately, it's like I'm having a minor bipolar attack or something. I've probably been really inappropriate around like either "fuck you -- seriously." or "wanna make out?" or "uhnnnnnnnndsgffffffffffffjnjnl" is sometimes what I sound like.

Hey guys I heard Autostraddle redesigned their website.

Also, who has read Othello? I haven't but it's been discussed briefly in various classes of mine. One thing that stuck with me was this line; "I loved you not unwisely, but too much." And if you're scratching your head saying "what a fucking dumbass, that's not the line," YOU'RE RIGHT. The line is actually "I loved you not wisely, but too well." My brain has a hard time processing things so naturally I get things wrong a lot. But I kinda like what my brain came up with, mostly 'cause that's what I do; smother people with love until they hate me.

Anyways, enough about me, here, read a poem I wrote.

Wait, before you do that, press ctrl + left click on this.

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I can’t bend to your will
‘cause I don’t have knees.
I’m just a hugging panda
hugging trees
but the trees don’t hug me.

The sun belongs to thieves.
I slept on a rug of leaves
one sunny Sunday afternoon.
I invented wooden spoons.
My shadow doesn’t fit the mould –
it stretches as the sun grows old.

She’s a winking panda bear
blinking here and there,
hiding everywhere.

I’ve seen her stare.

Now we’re two licking pandas licking trees.
The flames lick me.
I can’t run ‘cause I don’t have knees.
I’m stuck in the branches’ sway
licking paper, till we burn the paper away.

I’m a hugging panda hugging trees,
eating fallen leaves.
Now she’s leaving me.

I’m a hugging panda hugging trees.
Trees don’t have knees.
They stand up straight like me.

I’m a hugging panda hugging trees,
eating bamboo in the morning breeze.
Sleepy sleepy sunny day
Hugging trees till the trees decay
Licking paper till we burn the paper away.

I’m a hugging panda hugging trees
but the trees don’t hug me.

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HEY MOTHERFUCKERS! AUTOSTRADDLE HAD A REDESIGN!

nudsfjinnnnnnnnnnnshdfjdskkjkdgjjkjsjp;!~!!!!!!

Hey, ever heard that Smashing Pumpkins song? Daydream? I have gone..crazy. Motherfucking crazy.