Saturday, June 5, 2010

Boy Scout Loves Mountaineer

I don't watch a lot of tv, but every once in a while I get a push that starts me watching a show. For example, back when Carly used to do Televisionary Tuesdays on Autostraddle, I did screencaps for her. One of the shows she was recapping was How I Met Your Mother. Unfortunately I was screencapping the season 4 finale and had no idea what was going on, only that it was really funny. So then I spent the next two weeks watching every episode ever of HIMYM until I was caught up. Then, this holiday break, I started watching The Office. Literally all I did was sit at home and watch it. After that it was 30 Rock which I also ate up until school forced me to read a book. I'd like to add that I haven't seen the end of any of these shows most recent seasons.

Currently I am totally caught up in a really old show: Alias. Alias is different from the previous three shows I mentioned for a number of reasons, namely, it's not a sitcom. Alias is funny on purpose about 2% of the time and funny by accident about 37.72829% of the time. The rest of the time it's either terrifying or completely ridiculous. Because the truth about Alias is this: it is terrible/AWESOME.


I started watching Alias in Philadelphia with Laura's friend and have been kinda hooked ever since.

Alias actually scares me. Maybe it's because Laura and I watch it at 1am or maybe it's because I'm a big baby, but there hasn't been an episode where I either close my eyes or block the computer screen because I AM SCARED. When I was 11 Buffy the Vampire Slayer used to terrify me, until I started watching it when I was older (and years after it had finished) and it was hilarious. I am even older now and I think Alias is way scary!/suspenseful.

The thing about Alias, though, is that while there are scary moments, mostly it's just campy. There are only 2 kinds of music on Alias: the heavy bass, techno-y pump up music they play when Sydney is on a mission, and the lesbian music they play when things are sad (which is often). Once they played Coldplay. Alias is that kind of show where, when the bad guys shoot, they miss, and when the good guys shoot, they don't. It's also a show full of convenient coincidences and really good timing by the CIA. Like oh, obviously when Sydney's knee is about to get blown off she is saved. Also Sydney knows every language. Ever. Once Laura saw a wire holding up a plane.

Have I mentioned Jennifer Garner yet? Jennifer Garner plays Sydney Bristow. She has nice skin. Sometimes Sydney has to use disguises. Sometimes she looks like this:


Sometimes she looks like this:


Um, if that's not incentive to start watching, I don't know what is.

++

I decided to interview my partner-in-viewing Laura about her feelings w/r/t Alias.

Emily: What is your favourite Sydney Bristow disguise?

Laura: This one, she's got a Spanish fan, and red hair and a red dress with long sleeves and slits at the sides, and super cleavage and she's wearing a black bra underneath. And her eyes are really really made up.

Emily: Is that it?

Laura: Yeah. She swings on a rope and can knock somebody out.

Emily: What about that one where she walks out of the pool and a man follows her?

Laura: Nope. That's not it.

Emily: That's not it? Not when she's in a bathing suit?

Laura: Nope.

Emily: I like when she's blonde.

Laura: I like her whenever she has red hair, and I don't even like red hair. I also like the one where she chewed gum and had blonde hair and pearls.

Emily: What is the campiest thing about Alias?

Laura: What about Alias is not campy?

Emily: I thought that you might say the wire holding the plane.

Laura: Ohmygod, the wire holding the plane. No, that's not campy, that's just ridiculous. Probably the fact that... I like it when things are named really obvious things. Like that alliance between them was called "The Alliance". Also the episode names are kinda dorky.

Emily: Does Alias scare you?

Laura: On occasion because I don't like it when they get into weird supernatural shit and I'm alone in my house at night.

Emily: Weird supernatural shit like what?

Laura: Like frying bodies.

Emily: Oh yeah, that was really creepy. That one just made me sad.

Laura: It's gross.

Emily: What do you think about the music in Alias?

Laura: It's a very strange combination of techno/jam/rave and and Indigo Girls concert with mixes of Coldplay thrown in for good measure.

Emily: I feel like I'm just asking you to confirm everything I've written in my post.

Laura: So maybe you shouldn't interview me.

Emily: Probably not. Do you have anything to say about Alias? What is your favourite thing about Alias?

Laura: I like that she kicks ass and takes names. And even though she's in love with a man she still fights with him when it comes to mission stuff, she doesn't just agree with him. I guess what I'm saying is --

Emily: I guess what you're saying is "I'm a feminist!"

Laura: -- Alias has a feminist agenda.

Emily: What do you think is Sloane's master plan?

Laura: Jesus, I don't even know. I think he's probably trying to bring Elvis back from the dead.

Emily: Have you eaten dinner yet?

Laura: I didn't eat dinner today.

Emily: Aw, are you hungry?

Laura: Well, here's what I've eaten today: 3 slices of pizza (but they were small slices), a cupcake, a little bowl of pasta, a granola bar, an apple, a cinnamon roll, some cheese. The end.

[we talk about food, Laura gets an email]

Laura: I have a question for you if you don't have any.

Emily: Okay.

Laura: Do you want to watch an episode of Alias?

2 comments:

laura said...

i like to pretend like jennifer garner never did anything other than alias because it allows her image to remain pristine/badass in my head. there was no excuse for daredevil or 13 going on 30.

saint modesto said...

laura: i actually liked 13 going on 30. i like her best as sydney though. she's pretty when she kicks ass.