Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Things You Can't Do Because You Wear Glasses Or Contacts

Needing glasses is one of my least favourite things. Ever. Even more than having cowlicks. I am completely and totally dependent on wearing glasses or contacts just to go outside and behave like a normal person. Once my contact ripped at school and then I had to walk around blind and issue a warning to people in my workshop class that if they were making eye contact with me I wouldn't know. It was funny/terrible.

Things You Can't Do While Wearing Glasses
1. Go to a heavy metal dance party
2. Go swimming
3. Whip your hair back and forth
4. Get punched in the face without fear of having glass shattered in you eye
5. Have a serious make out session without getting kisses on your lens
6. Be outside in the rain and still see properly
7. Read books if you only need glasses to see far away
8. Sweat without your glasses getting all slippery all over your face
9. WEAR SUNGLASSES
10. Play most sports

Things You Can't Do While Wearing Contacts
1. Have impromptu sleepovers
2. Read for long periods of time: if you, like me, need glasses to see far away, then possibly you, like me, have the problem of trying to read books close to your face while wearing contacts.
3. Fall asleep on the bus ride home

Things That You CAN Do With Glasses Or Contacts
1. see (most of the time)

6 comments:

mysocksholdmytoes said...

despite all my initial feelings about this post, my only addition to this is rollercoasters. every single time i ride a rollercoaster i have to plaster my hands to the sides of my head so my glasses don't fly off whilst i'm twirling around LaRonde at ~60-85km/h. i end up involuntarily looking like edvard munsch's scream, basically. this is also true of waterparks. being blind as a fucking bat and sans contacts really cuts down on my summer fun. which brings us back to SUNGLASSES.

Lucia said...

In lab the other day one of my profs told me that she needs glasses but prefers seeing everything as a a mild blur to wearing glasses/contacts. She said she she can't always make out faces, so she's always smiling and waving at fuzzy outlines of people in case they're someone she knows. I liked this story.

I tried to steal some of my mum's sunglasses but they were PRESCRIPTION so I couldn't.

saint modesto said...

toes: omg i forgot about roller coasters. i think that's because i don't like them and never ride them anyway. but yeah, that sucks. also, though, the image of you holding your glasses for dear life while on a roller coaster is hilarious.

lucia: LIFE IS SO HARD FOR SOMEONE WITH 20/20 VISION.

jk but that is a nice story. if i walked around without glasses/contacts i'd just be squinting and making weird faces at everyone, so props to your teacher for being so friendly!

FROG'S new PAD said...

SO TRUE! I try going w/o my goggles. More now that I have more trouble seeing!? When I did teach swimming, I did WEAR mine. No Problem. In the rain? I try to be tough about that one now a days too. Today, could NOT see to FIND where I put my glasses however. BOY was i lost? No one around to find 'em like other days!!!! There they were, they'd dropped on the floor NEXT to the table!
Thanks for writing this.

Augusta Tippins said...

Yes, it’s really frustrating how you’re limited to do things when you’re wearing eyeglass and contacts. But what’s more important is you get to have normal eyesight with them on. At least, you get the intellectual look with your eyeglass and the doe-eye effect with the contacts. :-)

Augusta Tippins

Doris Gibbs said...

I think it’s an established fact that there are many things a person is restricted to do because of poor eyesight. Well, the least we could do is aid our sight with optical instruments, regardless of the inconveniences they may bring. I guess that’s enough reason to be grateful that there are tools, like eyeglasses and contact lenses, we can depend on, rather than function blindly without them on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts regard that matter, E.C. All the best to you!

Doris Gibbs @ Moody Eyes