all walls are great if they don't fall

sometimes i still think about the emptiness in my stomach, leaving my stomach in the air and my breath hovering around my ears, sucking in the world through my mouth. it passes right through me.

bungee jumping is like this:
a heaviness around your ankles
falling into absolute nothingness
and by contrast falling into everything.

the stars above the great wall of china are like this:
explosions in the sky
falling into absolute nothingness
and by contrast falling into everything.

the great wall of china at night; looming towers above us and spotlights on the mountain.
i am on a ledge and i can see everything and i can see nobody until we are all under a blanket shivering with the stars.

i am happy.

there are things i want, people i miss, an emptiness in my heart
but also a duty, also a feeling of fullness
all so full in my heart.

i will stand on this ledge and see the world displayed on the great wall of china.
the great wall of china, tumbling into nothingness, falling into everything.

things i miss while in beijing

+ milk
+ cheese
+ cereal
+ clean/non-polluted air
+ public bathrooms with toilet paper, doors that lock, and actual toilet bowls
+ a shower that sprays into the bathtub and not onto the floor
+ facebook
+ clean drinking water
+ bagels
+ friends and family

otherwise, i don't ever want to leave. actually, just get me some good milk and cereal and i'm happy.