Saturday, September 1, 2012

10,000 tonnes happiness and sadness revisted

10,000 tonnes happiness and sadness

you're not quite sure what it is that makes you so sad, only vaguely aware that it is here, visiting you in the shower. just some under the surface stuff that you reveal scrubbing yourself absentmindedly. you're not even sure if it's sadness, maybe apathy or lethargy instead. but then a heavier sigh - yes, there it is. sadness, which is so close to happiness that you can mistake one for the other. happiness, contentedness, a sort of apathy or lethargy in its own way. a settlement of sorts? happiness, sadness, what's the difference? you hate euphoria - it scares you, makes you upset. never one feeling without the other. happiness and sadness inside your coffee mug; filtered coffee which tastes good because you can't afford better, made in your kitchen, sipped without thought on the cool tiled floor while your hair dries. something is missing; it's milk and sugar, but you can live without those now.


cgr said...

Peut-etre I am in the minority, but the idea that one can easily trace the cause of their happiness whereas sadness is this deep chasm of feeeelings that we collapse into makes happiness seem quite shallow, no? But also I haven't eaten a substantial meal in 24 hours so my logic may be flawed

saint modesto said...

i think happiness can be quite shallow a lot of the times - but then again so can sadness. what i was saying here is that they're kind of the same feeling. i don't really know how to explain that which is probably why it doesn't make sense. i guess like maybe you can't define one without the other. you know how when you're really happy all your previous problems seem so small, and when you're sad you think you'll never be happy again? something like that.