Thursday, May 7, 2009

I Get by With a Little Help From my Friends

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Nearing the end of the semester and the workload piling up, it's a wonder no one has yet collapsed and died. I've been thinking lately about why it hasn't happened to me, why I haven't just said "fuck it" and gone back to sleep. It can't be the English essay on a complete and utter bogus topic, nor can it be the history paper, long overdue which sits on my hard drive barely touched. It's not philosophy, certainly not Descartes who could ever motivate me enough to drag my ass to school and pay attention. It's not politics, the biggest joke of the year, for it's surprising when more than 10 people show up. It's not French, it's not math and logic, it's not art history -- all of which are long classes but somehow made shorter by the company beside me.

For once in my life, I actually enjoy school. It's not because I like all my classes or because I get a kick out of waking up at 6 am. It's the people around me. These are the people who have opened my eyes and healed my heart, who have reminded me that not everyone is the biggest asshole I've ever met.

One memorable class on religion, late nights and skipping a full day of classes to write about I - Thou relationships, near tears, hysterics, and then laughing at the absurdity of it all. It's about needing these projects like a fish needs a bicycle. It's about falling asleep on the stairs at 7:45 am waiting to walk together because I just can't wait for my friends in class. It's about counting the number of times Gesche Peters says "as it were", playing three way battleship on graph paper, falling asleep in the library, never answering your phone, trying to decipher airpline smoke trails in the sky, and taking pictures at the park. It's about wishing we were drunk, getting drunk, getting angry, crying, laughing, and then laughing some more, and finding a reason to stay. It's about being glad we chose this bullshit program and staying in it for all these things. Because for once it finally feels like I fit in somewhere.

I get up in the morning to see your fucking faces. You are absolutely the most incredible people I have ever met.

4 comments:

Alessia said...

emilius, i love you.

Sabrina-Marie said...

&& we're so damn lucky to be loved.

all hail the liberal students
&& Emily Choo

xo

saint modesto said...

i love youuuu sabrina marieeee

Sabrina-Marie said...

one could try but would never fully grasp the depths of the emotions we share:)

you're my number 1!! <3