Thursday, August 5, 2010

Things The World Is Trying To Convincing Me Of

+ I have breast cancer
+ I have brain cancer
+ My body is eating me from the inside out
+ I don't exist
+ I will never complete a full to-do list
+ I need therapy
+ I need to eat healthier
+ I need to exercise more
+ My breasts are going to be saggy
+ Getting old is the apocalypse
+ 25 is old
+ I need to grow up
+ University is a waste of time (why does the world convince me of this?)
+ University will get me a job
+ We're all going to die in 2012
+ Everything is going to be fine
+ Mo' money, mo' problems
+ My plane is going to be hijacked
+ I need to have children
+ There are too many children
+ I need to be more cultured
+ I need more money
+ STOP PANICKING
+ I need to panic
+ I can be anything even superman
+ Good things come to those who wait
+ Seize the day
+ I don't know enough
+ I'm lazy
+ I know too much
+ I don't read enough
+ I'm going to get cancer from smoking, second-hand smoke, using my cell phone to call people, microwaves, hair dye, x- rays, asbestos, bottled water, chips, genes, deodorant, chinese food, coffee, sunblock, bleach, orange juice, pesticides, low cholesterol, everything on this list, stress, obesity, white bread, cookies, crackers, everything yummy, alcohol, artificial flavours, being a woman, being a man, bubble baths, fake nails, lipstick, menstruating, pizza, redbull, tattoos, sex, shaving, third-hand smoke, everything in the whole world except tomatoes and the sun
+ Technology is evil
+ Technology is the best thing ever
+ I should live in the woods
+ We're all the same
+ I'm a unique and special snowflake
+ I'm depressed
+ I have ADD
+ I'm schizophrenic
+ I'm bipolar
+ I'm OCD
+ I have an anxiety disorder
+ I need to be a STRONG POWERFUL INDEPENDENT WOMAN
+ I need 5 jobs
+ Wikipedia is not a valid source of information
+ Everyone is scared so shutup
+ Nikki needs a chandelier
+ There are spies among us
+ Spiders won't eat me in my sleep
+ I need to be famous to accomplish things
+ I need to love more
+ I need to love less
+ I have SARS
+ I'm going to hell
+ Hell is not a real place
+ There's an app for that
+ I need to be kinder
+ I need to be more patient
+ I need to do things for myself
+ Shakespeare was the greatest writer of all time
+ I need to stop being so hard on myself
+ People care
+ No one cares
+ The answer is somewhere else
+ I need to follow my heart
+ I need to listen to my brain
+ The arts are a waste of time
+ I need to recycle more
+ I need to learn how to drive
+ I need to drink more water
+ I need a crutch
+ Drugs are bad
+ I'm stupid
+ I'm smarter than you
+ I need to leave my house
+ There is no cure
+ There is a God
+ There is no God
+ I NEED MORE MONEY
+ I NEED MORE EXPERIENCE
+ I NEED MORE CULTURE
+ I NEED MORE THINGS
+ I NEED LESS THINGS
+ I NEED A TOOLBOX
+ I NEED TO TRAVEL
+ I NEED TO HAVE FUN
+ I NEED TO CALM DOWN
+ I'M ABNORMAL
+ I'M NORMAL
+ MONEY
+ SEIZE THE DAY
+ TRAVEL
+ MONEY
+ JOBS
+ INDEPENDENCE
+ MONEY
+ NO SLEEP
+ SEIZE THE DAY
+ MONEY
+ ORGANIZE
+ SETTLE
+ CLEAN ALL THE THINGS
+ MONEY
+ MENTAL DISORDERS
+ DISEASES
+ GOVERNMENT
+ EQUALITY
+ MONEY
+ POWER
+ FAME
+ CLEAN ALL THE THINGS
+ EXTINCTION
+ POTATOES
+ DIY

ETC. FOREVER AND EVER OMG

5 comments:

Rachel said...

Emily I've never commented on your blog before but this is so completely the exact way that I feel right now that I have to. hi, hello, how are you. i am glad i met you in penn station once.

Ari said...

Actually, the sun is going to give you cancer, too.

Ari said...

Also, I really like this post. Sometimes I forget there are other people with this shit inside their heads, too.

Alessia said...

Jesus Christ...right on.

saint modesto said...

rachel: and we shall meet there again one day. well, maybe not penn station. maybe riese's place.

ari: too much sun will give me cancer, too little sun will make me depressed. i guess i will have to eat a lot of tomatoes then.

alessia: jesus.